Hey Hoover,
It’s me, Bruno. Hurry up and get here, will ya? I’m losing my mind over here. When I first came here, I had the coolest buddy, and we used to lay around together, get crazy when people came home, we went outside together – we did everything together. Well, now I’m alone here, and frankly, it’s not working for me. That’s where you come in. We’re going to have a lot of fun together once we get used to each other.
Before you get here, though, I have a few pointers for you.
The lady in the picture here is our Mom. See how she’s hugging me in the picture? You can’t get out of it, so get used to it. But what you can’t tell in the picture is that I’m on the couch, so there are tradeoffs for everything. A couple of other things about Mom: she keeps pig ears under the sink, AND she’ll give you a liver treat when you come inside if you do your “business”.
The other people here are pretty nice, too. When Dad comes home he says, “Hello, Bruno…you’re a really good boy, Bruno. Did you have a good day, Bruno?” He talks really loud when he’s excited like this. I guess he really likes coming home. The other guys let me chase them outside sometimes, and they like to hear me roo, so you should roo sometimes.
Sometimes there might be mix up and we might get breakfast twice. That’s happened to me a couple of times since I’ve been here. If it happens too many times, though, your ribs won’t show and then the lady will put you on a “diet”. Avoid getting on a diet if you can, because it’s a real drag.
Sometimes you’ll play a game called, “Training”. This game involves a clicker, a bag of treats, and a leash. The people want you to do certain things, and when you finally figure out what they want and you do it, they click the clicker and give you a treat and tell you you’re a good boy. Oh, and if they say, “Hoover, Front!”, you should come back to them. They will give you a lot of treats for that.
I don’t know what countersurfing is, but don’t do it. The dog school teacher lady taught all the humans how to stop countersurfing. If this is something you like to do, get it out of your system before you get here because the trick sounds scary.
Well, that’s all I can think of for now. Just get here as soon as you can. I think I heard Mom say something about buying some stuffies and a Kong for you. I don’t like stuffies but you haven’t lived until you’ve had a Kong full of frozen vegetable beef soup outside on a hot day. It is SO refreshing!
See ya soon, buddy!
Bruno
